Our life is a gift we are given each day, to use as we choose. It consists of all the ways we respond to what happens to us. Each day we have challenges and problems to solve externally and internally. Some are insignificant and some are momentous. Sometimes we are able to deal with them easily, sometimes we stumble and fall. We can choose to either see each challenge as an opportunity for learning something about ourselves, or as a random experience that we are victims of.
The first way allows us to grow and to expand our sense of Self, to reach for new and better ways to be ourselves in the world and feel empowered. The second keeps us stuck in suffering and feeling powerless. We have a choice to show up fully and embrace each day we are given, or to stay stuck in resistance to what is happening and wish for it to be different. To show up fully, we need courage to face all that is not as we want it to be, and still choose love, hope, gratitude, empowerment and learning. Can we do that in these uncertain times? I believe we can.
We need to remember past experiences in which we survived or even thrived beyond the hardships we endured, when we had to just put one foot in front of the other and get through each day, until we eventually realized that we had gotten through that difficult time with renewed strength, wisdom and faith in ourselves, beyond anything we knew we had. That is the gift that is there for us to lean on in these difficult times. It’s there, within us all. We must look for and hold onto it, because it will take us through to the other side of fear, where we can feel our freedom and strength once more.
Reflection exercise to connect you with your inner resources:
Make a list of the times in your life in which you struggled to believe in yourself or your future. Write what your negative belief was at that time, and then what resources you drew from within and around you that helped you through that time. Write how you grew, and what you learned about yourself or life that gives you a feeling of hope, strength and empowerment as you reflect on that experience.
You now have a reminder of the wisdom and strength that is in you which will help you through any challenges you face now. You can choose to continue to access those resources within and outside of you, knowing you are not alone, that you are resilient and courageous, and that you will get through this time as well.
To help shift you away from the stress response: AIT= Attention Interpretation Therapy
Dr. Amit Sood, an Integrative MD at Mayo Clinic has created a calming mindfulness practice by having you focus each morning and throughout the day on the positive things you are aware of in that moment, -sunshine, food, warmth, safety, caring loved ones, because in doing so it’s easier to feel gratitude verses anxiety, acceptance verses resistance, compassion verses judgment, forgiveness verses resentment, meaning verses despair. This becomes an easy way to mindfully retrain your brain toward the thoughts and emotions that will calm your fight/flight response instead of increase it.
Mindfulness Practice: For one week take one of those qualities and focus on it every time you are triggered into a stress response, (ie: instead of how powerless you feel, ask yourself: “what can I accept, forgive, be grateful for, feel compassion about, find meaning in?”) It will bring you a sense of empowerment and courage, despite the challenges in your life. You can also ask: what can I learn from this? or how can I use it for my growth and healing?, realizing there is always a hidden gift in everything that is challenging, even if you don’t see it until later.
For now what is positive during this time is our united concern for each others health and our own, as we abide by the need for separation. We do it to protect us all, and it is an act of compassion which can save lives. Maybe that is what we needed to know through this time- that we are connected deeply by our desire for each person to be safe, and that we are willing to sacrifice our dependency on outer experiences or gatherings to do so. We care for each other as fellow humans, no matter how we are different from each other, and that is an extremely timely and needed gift that we are all given through this time.
May you look for the gifts, make wise choices, and know we all will get through this soon, because as with everything in life, “this too, shall pass”.
With healing wishes,
Nancy
During this challenging time, it is easy to fall into fearful thoughts about the future. We can draw strength and courage from the lessons of the past that helped us grow stronger.
